The Sabotage

I’m a saboteur. I try to ruin my own life in lots of small ways. Once I experience a tiny amount of success I find ways to fail, to stop what has been successful and to pursue the unhealthy habits that keep me trapped.
The last couple of weeks have been that way in many respects.
I’ve not been using my office, a place we made for work. I choose to be uncomfortable in a chair which leads to less productivity.
I give in to urges to eat and buy rubbish. Luckily not gaining weight but not losing.
My Nano prep is at a minimum, so much so I worry about being able to complete the writing challenge.
I sit and I scroll through Instagram and Twitter, trying to silence the screaming worry in my head. And it makes me even more frustrated, why can I not just DO something to help myself.
I felt this way shortly before starting this website with John, and for awhile it was great, with all you lovely people liking my posts. But I got caught up with questioning myself and all the other little blocks I put in my own way which caused me to back away from what helped.
It’s a tough time at the moment, John’s about to start a new job, so money is a bit of a concern, and the nervousness that comes with something new.
John’s last day is tomorrow and we have sometime before he starts the new job. We will be spring cleaning, changing things around and making the flat beautiful. I’m hoping it will be the start of a productive time and that I can throw myself into world building and prepping for Nano.
I know that periods of depression are going to happen throughout my life, but I’m trying to deal with them with a more mindful attitude and to make the most of the times where I am okay. With each bout it’s getting better, one day I hope to have a good balance.

Sorry for this self-indulgent post, but it’s good to get this out and to have some accountability, to have my feelings out there in a place where others can see, and maybe not feel so alone.

I will be back with more soon, as will John, but it may be sporadic for a little while.

Rail Way – A Poem

A train clickity clacks passed the window. Causing flocks of birds to flee. Peace is torn, black dust is thrown, taking passengers from here to there.
It isn’t a bother per say. But it causes alarm in the night. With a shudder and shock, it whisks on by, stopping my heart for a beat.
For now its gone. The birds have landed, silence returns and passengers are off on their way.

***

This was quite an experiment for me. I really enjoyed testing out the flowing of sentences and seeing what I liked. I may very well do more like this and try and work more thought of flow into my stories!

NaNoWriMo Prep

We’re just under two months away from NaNoWriMo! If you’re unfamiliar, it’s a writing challenge where in November you try to write 50k words. I’ve tried the challenge in the past but I’ve only completed it once, and I think that was with a lot of excess words thrown in.
So, in order to prepare and to give myself the best chance possible I’ve been doing several things.

1. Getting into a routine – I’m aiming for get up earlier in the morning, taking myself to the office to write and separate myself from the worries of the day, and meal prep so that cooking is less of a hassle and to keep us from indulging. This is still an on going process (especially since John is about to change jobs), but we have time!
2. Making notes – So many notes! I’m one of those people who take hours to come up with names (and even then I’m not happy or just chose the first one I thought of) and just sit and stare and the blank page when I’m not sure of something. In order to prevent that I’m fleshing out my fantasy world, creating places, history and lists of names. This has been coming along slowly but getting quicker as I know more.
3. Creating a story Outline – I’m not a pantser (going by the seat of your trousers). I can write stories that way, but they would all just be happy, with no conflict and lost plot threads. So, planning out will allow me to create a better story and I’m sure I will add some things as I go!

There are other little steps I’ve been taking; trying to be more social, spreading my writing wings, attempting to not feel guilty for spending so much time on something that may not go anywhere. But I love writing and it’s all worth it. The process of writing in pen on paper, tapping on the keyboard, of editing and of streamlining, it’s all a part of it and all wonderful.
This site is a little over a month old and already it has helped me so much. I hope in some way I can help others, whether now or in the future.
Are you joining in NaNoWriMo, if so how are you getting prepared? Any advice or questions, let me know!

Writing Exercise – Guess who?

A family stands before you, five in number, all with black hair and pear shaped bodies.
A father, tallest of the lot, bears a moustache and a styled hairdo hiding a bald spot. He wears a white apron over a white t-shirt and grey trousers. He’s a hard working chef, owns his own restaurant and talks to his food.
A mother, wearing red glasses and matching long-sleeved top, with blue trousers. She has a love of singing and porcelain babies.
The eldest daughter has glasses but her’s are black, she has a yellow clip holding some of her hair from her face, her hair lies in a bob covering her ears. A blue t-shirt and darker blue skirt are her regular clothes. She pulls up her white socks high on her legs. Horses, boys and zombies are her favourite things.
The middle child is an outgoing boy, he wears a yellow t-shirt and light blue shorts. He is often seen with a small electronic keyboard upon which he likes to record and play fart sounds.
The last member of the family, a young girl with a green dress and a pink hat with bunny ears. She has a strong sense of herself and is the smartest of the bunch.
They stand together, each different but they are always a family.

Do you know this family? It’s a TV family. This was a fun little exercise. I’m doing so many notes lately (in prep for NaNoWriMo) that I rush over details. I think I’ve done so in this, too, but practise makes perfect!

A Roller Coaster of a Week

This week has been a stressful one.
A couple of setbacks early in the week had us down for a few days, which brought other lows such as too much junk food. But after a stern talk, we have agreed to get back on track and not let it get out of hand.
It wasn’t all bad though, there were highs, and the highest was John getting offered a new job! We are really excited about the prospects it’ll bring. It’s going to be hard for the next couple of months, with stresses of new routines and upsets.
It’s scary and exciting. I struggle with changes in circumstance and with the uncertainty which comes with the changes. At the same time I know that John can do great in he new position, so I’m a see-saw. I know that good things will happen due to these events.
Writing has, unfortunately, fallen by the wayside for this week. Another thing that caused me some stress, but I was still working out ideas and world stuff in my head. So I’m putting in the hours today, and I’m back to my routine.
Right now there is a bearded dragon running around my feet and he needs a snug before I sink back into my world!

Have a wonderful day!

The Observer

Banner looked up at the wall before him, shifting his bag to a better position on his back. He held a hand over his eyes to stop the rising sun from blinding him as he tried to find the handholds he had been told about. The wall around the park was three times his height, made of yellowing white stone. The gate would have been the easier way in, as shown by the stream of well dressed people heading through them. But, for that you would have had to been invited to the event. And Banner would never be invited to such a thing.
After moments he saw the protrusions of the holds, it would be a tough climb, but he wanted on top of the wall. He glanced around him, noting that no one even bothered to look around, not even the guards stationed at the gates. One even looked like he was nodding off, leaning upon his spear, the warming air of the summer morning lulling him to sleep.
Good, thought Banner as he leapt to grab the first handhold, this should be easy.
He scampered up the wall, hands only slipping twice, each time sending his heart galloping inside his chest. It was only the work of moments but the strain created buckets of sweat and his muddied shirt clung to him, his long hair sticking to the sides of his face. But he was up! He took a moment to admire the view.
Tall, bushy trees lined smooth stone paths winding in many directions. A large softly undulating lawn stretched out near the gate, people were spreading blankets on the grass, jostling for good positions in front of a low wooden stage.
Banner walked carefully further around the wall so that he had a better view of the stage, then he sat down, legs dangling over the edge. He placed the bag on his back next to him and rooted around in it. He brought out a flask of water and a hunk of cheese.
Down below things were getting started. The sea of brightly coloured clothes calmed and a figure walked on to the stage.
The long figure was dressed in all black, a tall hat rested between two long sharp horns.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, and the random man on the wall.” They bowed, swiping the hat and almost folding in two, long brown hair falling forward.
Banner dribbled water down his front as the figure mentioned him. He scanned the crowd, looking for the guards. But the crowd was laughing, no one looked up, the guards were not even inside the park. He leaned back and peeked at the gate, no one was near. His heart slowed back down.
“My name is Trimble and today, I have something special for you.”
Trimble straightened and threw out their arms and flower petals poured from the sky. Banner watched as below him the crowd was covered in red petals. Then something tickled his head and he noticed that petals were falling on him. He picked up one that had fallen on his knee. It was soft and smelled wonderfully of berries.
“Let’s get on with the show!” Trimble spun and the black clothes changed to bright green.
It’s going to be a wonderful day, Banner thought to himself, and took a large bite out of his cheese.

***

I have no idea if this makes sense! I had an idea and then I’ve had a bad headache for the last two days. But my schedule must be upheld, so I hope this was at least readable!

A Look Outside Our Window

Outside our flat is a roof area which is inaccessible (we live 4 stories up). Well, to us it’s inaccessible but to birds it’s a paradise of protection. After it rains there are puddles of water for them to get a safe drink, moss grows around the edges and in bright green patches here and there encouraging insects for them to nibble. Since it’s high up, next to some trees and a train track, its safe from cats and other predators.
Along the row of flats an old man throws out seeds from his window in the morning, pigeons flock to him. My favourite type: the Wood Pigeon, amongst them.
Wood Pigeons are elegant birds. I call them dusky roses due to the colour of their chests. They coo in the mornings sounding like cats purring, calling from the trees, a pleasant alarm clock.
We’ve been lucky enough to be able to observe them from our windows, in doing so we’ve seen many behaviours and differences between birds. As well as dusky roses we have Rock Doves (which I call sparkle necks, due to their sparkly necks) and they behave differently.
In mating the male dusky roses bow to females, beak to the ground and tail swooped up high. Hops bring them closer to their quarry, more bowing and more hops and often a chase in flight. The sparkle necks do what we call lion-pigeoning, which is poofing up their chests, spinning around the female, chasing them around.
The fights of the dusky roses reminds me of old fashioned duels. They square up next to one another, head bobs indicate readiness and then the waps begin. Short jabs, wide wing flaps and the winner coos loudly, shouting his victory from the rooftop, the defeated bird flies away; head low.
In the summer we have seagulls as well and, though they can be annoying, their laughing call makes me smile every time.
Seeing birds grooming, lying down relaxing in the sun, going about their life is a treat and something very special. I don’t think many people get the opportunity to see birds doing what birds do away from the world. But if you do get the chance, I highly recommend sitting with a cup of tea and watching them for an hour, you’ll be surprised at the personalities that emerge.

A Mysterious Egg – Part Three

Rain battered on the windows and thatched roof of Rafie’s cottage as she pondered the egg. The fire roared next to them, throwing out warmth into the room. She ran her a finger over the split in the yellow shell, hesitantly touching the green shoot. Its waxy bud cold to the touch. Peering inside she could see a web of roots and dark soil.
“Am I supposed to plant you? Or will you change yet again?” Rafie spoke aloud to the egg but directing her thoughts to Lady Time, however she knew she was much too far away for an answer. “I think we need to head back out.”
She leapt to her feet, quickly changed into dry clothes, grabbed her cloak and gloves, and got the basket ready for the egg. She grabbed an oil cloth to protect the delicate shoot. Once the egg was safely bundled and protected she stepped outside.
Rain battered the ground, it bounced off leaves and her hood. The night was dark but Rafie knew the way, she hurried into the forest, weaving her way through the trees, keeping a grip on the basket and the edges of her cloak.
Dark shapes in the darker shadows drifted about, hunting, fleeing, enjoying the night. There was an odd note in the chorus of the night, something off. Rafie slowed her pace, unable to pin down the cause. She toyed with the ends of her gloves, but decided against dawdling, Lady Time would know what was wrong.
She arrived at the clearing and stopped in her tracks. Lady Time was drooping, her bark was much lighter and leaves were piled up around her trunk. Rafie rushed over, stripping of her gloves and placing both hands on her trunk, the basket swinging in the crook of her elbow.
“Lady Time, what’s going on?” Her words rushed out, eyes tight shut in concentration.
“This is my forest now.” The voice came from behind.
Rafie turned her head, without moving her hands from the struggling tree. Stood between trees was a towering, slimy creature with a huge horned lizard-like head above a morphing shadowy body. Blue eyes burned in its dark grey face.
Her stomach recoiled at the smell of the creature, it was death, stinking and sweet.
“You can’t help her. She will submit to me or die.” The creature blinked slowly, “As will all the trees.”
“What do you want?” Rafie probed Lady Time, trying to find her, her presence was so faint but she was somewhere.
“This forest.” The creature turned and began to move away before adding, over it’s shoulder, “Please leave my forest, I have no need for a gardener.”
“You can’t-“
Stop Rafie, Lady Time shouted in her mind.
The creature didn’t stop, it disappeared into the shadows. “I can.”
“What can I do?” Rafie focused back on Lady Time.
Images flooded her mind, the egg, a large tree in the middle of many saplings, Rafie watching over the growth, Lady Time dying and the egg again.
“Is this egg a new tree?”
You must leave, move far away and plant the next Lady Time, she must be safe. This is the task for which I brought you here. Lady Time had never spoken this directly, and it was clear it was the end for this millennia old tree.
“I’m sorry I can’t save you.”
The images of green shoots and withered plants.
“Still, I will miss you.”
And I will miss you, my child. But the next Lady Time will be lucky to have you. Leave now, before the creature senses the sapling.
Rafie reluctantly removed her hands, tears pooling in her eyes, the death of this forest was a tragedy, it would change the whole plain. She had to tell the village, they might be able to get a Servant, or maybe even Mavel herself, to deal with the creature. But Rafie had her task, Lady Time could not be saved so she must make sure that the next generation would prosper, the beautiful tree would have her dying wish. Rafie left that very night, stole away with what little she needed for the journey, the quest to find a new home for her and her sapling.

The End (for now).

Thank you so much for reading along with this story. What started as practise has become a story of which I am very proud, which fits into my world and has left me with a characters I can’t wait to include in other stories. I would like to continue Rafie’s adventures but I think a break is needed. However, there will be plenty of other stories and writings in the meantime. Have a great day!

A Mysterious Egg – Part Two

THUD! Thud! Rafie started, vision swirling around her as she struggled to wake up. Thud! There was a pounding on her door, that’s what woke her up. She pushed herself to her feet and stumbled over the egg that had seemingly rolled off its nest, momentarily confused, the urgency of the knocking pulled her back to the present. She scooped up the egg and opened the door.
“Please, Rafie, please, come with us, Jesel is missing, he’s gone!” A hunch backed woman, who she recognised as Anni, the local village’s resident mother hen, grabbed fearfully at Rafie’s sleeve.
“Anni, slow down. I need to get my things; What happened?” She turned back into the cottage.
“No we have no time, he’s been gone all night.” Tears streamed down her face, her whole body was shaking.
“I’ll only be a second.” Rafie placed the egg back in the nest, then grabbed her gloves and walking stick.
“Lead the way.” Said Rafie, pulling on her gloves. Anni started off, leaning heavily on her own walking stick and on the arm of her grandson, Nen, a stout farmer whose expression was of honest concern.
“A horse went missing, it ran we think, Jesel went to go find it himself last night.” Anni choked on the words and Nen took over.
“We didn’t realise that he was gone until this morning.” Nen patted his ailing grandmother’s back.
“They went into the forest? The horse and Jesel?” Rafie’s senses were sharpening now in the cool morning air.
“Yes, the horse tracks lead away from the farm and to the edge of the wood, we tried to follow but I knew I would have no hope.” He gave a harsh shrug, his face going red behind his black beard.
“Not many people would.” Rafie said reassuringly. It was true, the forest was notoriously tricky and hostile to many. Rafie’s nature and her linage made her one of only a few who could traverse the mystical place alone.
They hadn’t gone far from Rafie’s cottage; Anni could only move slowly despite pushing herself.
“Head back to the farmhouse. Get what bandages and healing herbs you can ready. Jesel may simply be lost or he may be hurt. I will bring him to you as soon as I find him.”
Anni and her grandson nodded, Anni gripped his arm tighter, they had a job to do now, which would keep their mind occupied for a little while.
There were dark clouds looming off in the distance, it wouldn’t be long before rain came.
Rafie nodded in turn and lengthened her stride, making for the edge of the forest. She drew in a breath and slowly let it out, centering herself, opening her mind to nature. Once she broke into the line of trees, she stripped off her gloves and skimmed her hand over tree trunks and plants as she wound her way through the dense vegetation.
As with Lady Time, communication was not straight forward, there were images in her mind, snippets of life in the forest but she couldn’t ask about Jesel directly, but she could prod. She purposefully walked towards the farmhouse, where Jesel had come from. It was a good walk from her cottage to there, made shorter by cutting through the woods. Anni and Nen would have had to skirt all the way around the treeline, one mile atleast. Rafie hoped the trees would remember Jesel nearer there, or maybe the horse.
The forest stirred around her, confused at her questioning mind. She saw small glinting eyes in the shadows between trees. Animals would be a better source of information, but more difficult to seek for. She slowed her pace and crouched, then using her walking stick for balance, she opened her mind further. Her sense of self blurred, over many years she knew her limits but it always felt a little like looking at yourself in a crowd, and it did not come without risks.
There was a fox nearby, skittish and sleepy from a night spent hunting, but she saw it’s life essence as clear as a candle in the dark. However, there was also a darker presence, something lumbering, huge and poisonous. A twinge of pain caused Rafie to recoil. The presence was far away, somewhere deeper in the forest. Rafie took a moment to breathe, she was almost unmoored.
Gently she focused on the fox, prodding softly and asking about a man and a horse. The fox cowered back at the mention of the horse, she had seen the lumbering beast and ran away from it, afraid of the large hooves.
“Could you take me to where you saw the horse? Was a man following after it?” She showed her concern for Jesel.
The fox was scared but turned and slowly walk away, looking back over her shoulder.
Rafie stood, glad for the stick as her vision swam, but she was able to pull herself back. Once she was following, the fox picked up its pace. Now that they were connected, Rafie was able to settle back into herself and the million voices of plant and animal in the wood shrank away, leaving only the fox’s skittish presence in her mind.
They were heading quite deep into the forest. Rafie wondered what had caused the poor horse to flee this far.
Up ahead the fox leapt up on a fallen log, and sat down, tail twitching. Rafie walked up to the log and heard hooves pawing at the ground, she saw some movement further past the trees.
“Thank you.” She said and the fox leapt away, running back through the trees to its home, to rest.
Rafie climbed over the log and slowly approached the sound. In a small clearing with more fallen trees was a horse. Very large and dark, with furry white feet coated in mud. She was pawing at something near a freshly fallen log. Rafie did not want to approach it from behind, she had no desire to be kicked by a spooked horse. She circled slowly around until she was facing the side of the horse.
“Rafie-” A strained and weak voice rose up from the brush. Between the log and the horse lay a muddied man.
“Jesel-” She took a step forwards and stopped, the horse lifted its massive head and looked at Rafie. She looked wild.
“I’m here to help.” Rafie dropped her walking stick and held out both hands. The horse stamped down whinnying, the impact scattered more mud and leaves over Jesel.
“Acker, please, it’s okay.” The old man’s voice was weak, but the horse heard his reassuring voice and swung her head down, touching Jesel’s forehead.
“Are you injured?” Rafie asked as she approached, feeling more certain that Acker wouldn’t make a sudden move, but keeping one eye on the large animal.
“My leg is trapped, Acker is trying to free me but she can’t get underneath it. I hurts like anything.”
Jesel was on his back, right leg deep in the soft mud and under the fallen tree. Huge gouges marked where Acker had attepmted to help by getting her nose underneath.
“We should be able to do this together, eh girl?” She placed her hand softly on to the side of the horse’s muscular neck, attempting to calm the distressed creature. Images flickered, a stable, hay, a shadow, blue eyes and terror. Acker had seen the same creature Rafie felt earlier and fled. Rafie soothed over the memories, they would not help the poor horse now. Silently she conveyed her plan.
Her reins were still attached, so Rafie led Acker over to a branch sticking out from the log and tied her to it.
“Pull, Acker!” Rafie shouted before she rushed back over to Jesel and guided the log as best she could, forcing the trunk away without causing more damage.
Jesel was in immense pain, he gritted his teeth and balled his fists.
“Stop now girl, that’s enough!” And Acker halted, head shaking to try and get back to Jesel, the log moved. “Wait there, girl, I’ve got to move your dad now!” Rafie bent down to Jesel, wrapped her hands under his armpits and heaved.
Jesel’s colour was poor, and he groaned as Rafie pulled him free. She glanced down, his leg was a mess of blood and mud. Acker began to panic again, so Rafie rushed over to the horse, quickly undoing the bridle from the log, at which point it slammed down heavily into the mud. Acker immediately trotted over, nosing Jesel’s pained face. Rafie hopped over the log and knelt down before the poor farmer. He wasn’t bleeding anymore, but his leg looked broken.
“I can’t help here, we need to get you home. Think with my help you could get on Acker?”
Jesel couldn’t speak from pain but nodded and shifted gingerly.
“Acker,” Rafie gestured and the horse, with silent understanding, knelt and stayed still while Rafie gently manhandled the panting man onto her back. Jesel slumped over Acker’s neck as the horse stood.
“Can you stay on?” Again a nod. Rafie retrieved her stick. “Right let’s go.”
Rafie took the reins and led the group out of the forest. It took longer than Rafie would have liked, Jesel seemed to have lost all strength. When they emerged, Nen was standing with his hat in hand, worry had all but destroyed the felt cap from twisting it in his strong hands. The farmhouse stood a little way beyond him.
“Thank Meval!” He almost jumped with relief as he saw the group, Rafie could tell he’d been standing there, staring into the woods ever since he’d returned with his grandmother.
“We have to get him home. The leg’s broken. He’ll need a wash and some treatment, but especially water and food to get his strength back. He was trapped under a log all night.”
Nen nodded unquestioningly under Rafie’s authority and they started for the big house. when they got close, Nen lifted his grandfather as gently as he could. Jesel hadn’t said a word since he’d been placed atop Acker, Rafie guessed the blood returning to his leg had brought nothing but pain with it. Rafie turned and spotted a young man looking on worriedly in the garden.
“Young Harben, come and take Acker, she needs to be fed, watered and brushed. There’s a good lad.” Harben nodded, wide eyed, and took the reigns. Rrain began to fall, cold drops. “Hurry.” Rafie shot him a quick smile and followed Nen into the farmhouse, which was full of people.
“I’ll get the water.” A young woman with pale hair and a short dress sprung up and rushed out of the room.
“Place him here, Nen, we’ve made up a bed near the fire.” Said Anni. Made up on the hearth rug was a fluffy mattress, with lots of blankets at the ready.
“Let’s get these filthy clothes off first.” Rafie said. The girl had returned and placed the water over the fire.
His tunic was removed and rafie painstakingly cut his pants off with her knife, then Nen lowered him onto the bed. The wounds weren’t too bad and didn’t need to be stitched. With painful prodding and probing Rafie saw with relief that the break, though it would take a few weeks to heal, didn’t need to be set. Rafie worked her healing wordlessly while people bustled behind her, giving her space at Anni’s frantic insistance. Jesel drank water greedily after she was done. Finally, after Jesel was settled into the bed, with his leg bandaged and raised, some colour had returned to his face.
“I’m fine,” he said weakly, trying to push people away. Nobody paid any attention and they fussed over him incessantly, telling him how stupid he was for going into the forest alone, and how glad they were that he escaped with just a broken leg. It seemed the whole village had been roused when Anni had sent out the word that Jesel might be hurt. Jesel and Anni were pillars of the community and had a large family. Nobody knew more about farming within a hundred miles. Relatives and concerned villagers bustled, wanting to show their concern and to ask if they could help. They clapped Rafie on the back, saying how glad they were that their village had someone like her to keep them safe.
Rafie made sure that both Jesel and Acker were getting what they needed then slipped out of the back door. But Anni, who hadn’t left Jesel’s side since Rafie had finished treating him, touched her arm, appearing next to her.
“Thank you.” She was crying again, but with joy this time, a big smile on her face. “Thank you, Rafie.” She gave her a big hug and went back inside.
Rafie teared up, grateful she could bring such happiness and save someone again.
The rain was heavier now, a cold wind was ushering in the evening, as she cut through the forest she was protected from the worst of it.
She walked up the path to her cottage and remembered the egg. She raced inside.
The fire had died long ago, carefully she rebuilt it. Eventually she had enough light to see. The egg still sat in the nest, it was cracked, a green shoot sticking up through a small gap.
“Huh.”

To Be Continued…

I had so much fun writing this part, the story keeps growing! Again we leave off and shall reconvene next Saturday. I hope to see you again.

Change

Change comes slowly, but it does come, if you put in the hard work.
For many, many years I have struggled with my relationship with food. The fact that there’s a relationship at all is a problem, I wish we were just acquaintances. I have always been overweight, I’ve never been healthy. However because I wasn’t ever inconvenienced by being bigger, I could walk around and do various hobbies, I was never motivated to change. But after I turned thirty that changed, I have sore knees, sore back and I grew tired of my decreasing mobility. So finally at the beginning of 2018 John and I embarked on a quest to GET HEALTHY. Since then I have lost four stone (56 pounds) with five stone (70 pounds) more to go. It has not been easy, thirty plus years of bad habits are hard to break.
I’ve been taking pictures of myself to track progress and it seems that was the right move. As it turns out, your body adapts and is very quick to forget. I still feel massive at times, despite how my clothes hang off me. Seeing a recent picture compared to one earlier showed me the progress I’ve made and it reaffirmed my resolve (which had been wavering).
A routine is essential, for me, and that is the same way for writing. For the last week I’ve had a place to write, a time to do it and though I have been struggling with putting words on paper, it has been a great help to have the routine become a pleasant part of my day. My bad writing habits are: doubting my ideas, not carrying on past a few sentences before giving up, or allowing myself to just experiment. But it’s still early, I still slip with food, all habits take a long time to break and form.
If you are struggling with something, if you’ve slipped, don’t let it stop you. One bad day is only one, get back on the horse and record your progress. I promise that it’s worth it.

Thank you so much for reading this little peek into my life. There will be more slices, from both me and John, in the future. So if you enjoyed it (I hope you did) stick with us!