The Ups And Downs Of A Creative Life

Hello dear reader,

it has been a week of strange motivations. I took a few days off work to recharge and spend some amazing time with my lady Emma, I spent that time playing games and doing absolutely nothing productive at all, even though, in the back of my mind I intended to and secretly wish I had.

I go through long periods of wanting to be better and I tell myself that I got to work, that I need time to myself, that I love playing games; repeating all those things that you tell yourself when you’re putting things off, without even intending to or understanding the reasons why you’re putting them off in the first place.

Deep down I think I know and the feeling scares me a little bit. Deep down there is a little creeping fear that everything I’m doing and all the time I’m spending will never come to anything, that all the effort will be wasted, nobody will ever get to see my writings or the products of my work.

I hate that feeling, so I think I distract myself by making the conscious decision to not try, or to make excuses why I couldn’t try in that moment, then I feel the existential guilt that only a creative can feel when another day has ticked by without actually having made any strides towards the endeavours that make you love being creative in the first place.

How do I navigate around this strange catch-22 that I have pretty much always found myself in? Do I just let the feeling take me and do whatever the hell I want, even if it will take ten years to finish a project? Or do I push myself to finish something and then try my best to get it out there?

The trouble is I don’t know…and I feel like I don’t have the time, knowledge or motivation to get involved in a creative community that might allow me to get my work out there.

How do you know where to best put your time to get your work done, get it out into the world and to keep yourself sane?

I think I’ll be asking that question forever, but maybe one day I’ll find an answer. The important point is that I’m not going to stop. I can’t stop, and if you’re ever tempted to stop, know that in all your unsure and nervous attitude about whether your work is worthy, well it always will be, we need new ideas; all of them.

Keep going, and I will too.

Modelling Monday – Ork Warboss Kitbash!

For the longest time, I have been using a Big Mek in my ork army for the principal HQ; it fit with my lore – my army being a collection of scrap-obsessed Deathskullz – but I have been struggling with him on the table. To me, a Big Mek In Mega Armour with a Kustom Force Field is quite points inefficient compared to your bog-standard Warboss. So, I set about making one!

I started with a Flash Git base:

Added a Dreadnought Close Combat weapon:

and viola!

Da Boss is born. I did also add the DeathSkull Bosspole and a Kustom Shoota converted from a DeathWatch Shotgun. I’m very happy with the result; he was a quick build but looks the part!

Until next time good reader, I have big things on the horizon!

Modelling Monday: Warhammer conversion – Boyz to Tankbustas!

Hello dear reader!

On Saturday, you’ll see that we uploaded a little sneak peek of a modelling project I’ve been working on. I get these into my head every now and again. I absolutely love warhammer and lately I’ve had a lot more time to be able to commit to the hobby; as such I’ve been opening my Bitz Box and upgrading my Orkz!

The idea for this build was to make myself some Oddboyz; the Ork specialists who fill in the gaps in your army and allow you some more tactical flexibility, which I love. I looked at my options and there was a massive hole in my anti-armour capabilities for my Orks, so I took a look at buying some Tankbustas, only for my wallet to run away screaming when it found out that they were 25 British Pounds for five…merely half the number I wanted.

So I scoured my horde of Boys, did some likely recruiting and decided to arm them with some Kustom Dakka. It must be said that I did have to strip the unit of 5 Flash Gitz that I have never fielded to the table, but those Freebootin’ Gitz aren’t my style anyway, oh and one of them is now my Warboss (You’ll have to wait and see for him!)

For this build I utilised the above, some cold-weld plastic glue, superglue for the resin bitz, a few WarmaHordes gribblies as counts-as squigs, my trusty pliers and my craft knife. Now I’ll show you the result and talk a little bit about ’em!

We’ll start with the Boss nob for the unit; he’s now looking stylish with a new Rokkit Launcha arm, old-style bosspole from a painboy past and a dangerous looking waspy rokkit to scrag ‘oomy tankz.

This brave Git is one of two I made, he’s armed with a Kustom Tankhammer I made from a heavy ThunderHammer. The Rokkit attached to the end is an upturned power-mace with a sprue tip – tasty!

Look at these cute and deadly little fungus-dogs. We’ve strapped some suitably dangerous-looking SquigBombs to their backs and trained them to run towards Tau Tanks. The Bomb Bitz are made from cut off SnazzGun bitz, a Tau Missile Pod and a Tanbusta Bomb. I’m proud of these little fellaz!

Who deasn’t love Rokkit Pistols?? I conveniently had two Boyz who had been converted previously with two Sluggas, so I didn’t have to do much to these guys to get them looking the part, the Rokkits are from the Flash Gits’ Snazzguns again, so much potential in that kit.

This Lad has a storied history, I originally got him with a Rokkit Launcha that I converted into a Big Shoota. Now he’s back where he wants to be with another inverted powermace Rokkit!

These are the rest of the Tankbustas, just armed with Rokkit Launchas converted straight from the stripped down SnazzGunz. Don’t tell the Freebootas that we Nicked their Gubbinz!

So there you have it, a unit of 10 Tankbustas, salvaged and cobbled together in true Ork Fashun from Bitz and Know-Wotz for less than the price of a second class stamp. I’ll be throwing them towards very large vehicles whenever I can. They can deal out a whopping 200+ wounds in two turns thanks to Ork Stratagems. I cannot wait to see the look on an intrepid Titan-commander’s face when my Gitz Skrag his Shiny!

I’ll be uploading another mini-project next week, so stay tuned!

P.S. As a disclaimer, I know my painting is bad, these were rushed to make them look atleast fieldable, I will eventually clean them up!